Post 14: Is life happening to you or for you?

The saying that life is either happening to you or for you has been around for while now but it’s wisdom holds true.

We either think that we have no control over our lives or that we can exert some control. One puts us in victim mode, the other puts us in design your own life mode.

You get to choose that which you believe. It’s easier to play victim. Like a warm blanket we can rest in all the ways we can blame the world and it’s events as to why my life isn’t “working out” as to why I deserve pity. We have all been down that road. We have all played victim to garner some form of compassion. The point is, we will all suffer at some point, have things that won’t go the way we expected or lose the things that are important to us. Life is a continuous lesson in change and letting go. 

To view that life is happening for you on the other hand means you take responsibility for all of it. You can no longer find any excuses, rather you seek solutions and activate more of you. Your creativity, your courage, your wisdom. You become more empowered and more aligned to what is important to you. You get rid of the superfluous and focus more on the priorities in your life. Is it the harder path? Absolutely. You have to look at all your bits. The good and the bad. Your darkness and light. But you become more whole and balanced. You start to embody the true essence of your being. The integration of the totality, the warts and all.

If you switch your perspective that life is happening for you, it creates an opportunity for growth despite the circumstances. You can extract the wisdom from the challenge and rise to the occasion rather than bow to it. If it means surrender and peace from a situation so be it, if it means you can move on it means you can focus on the future. If you can take bold action then do that. The point is by viewing that life happens for you gives you that awareness to take the next best step and grow in the direction that best serves you. Who doesn’t want to be more empowered? The truth is you already are. 

I’ll leave you with this idea to ponder. Does playing victim, feeling sorry for yourself or living in a state of powerlessness to the things life throws at you help? Will it change anything?

How do you feel? Be honest. I’m guessing you know the answer. I’d much sooner see life happening for me than to me.

Rob Ipsen