Post 20: For Those Who Feel Too Much...An Open Letter To Self...
I feel. Because I am human. I feel because I am complex. I feel too much sometimes because my heart is designed to. Sometimes I feel and care too much. But I’ll never apologise for being “too much”. I’ll always prefer to swim in deep waters than to swim in safety by the shore. I’ll prefer to be open to both the love and pain, than to close off from feeling at all.
This is because I have so much to give. So much love, kindness, vulnerability, strength, compassion, understanding and openness forged from a lifetime of learning, growing, suffering and alchemising pain and extracting wisdom from lessons. I feel so deeply at times and have suppressed this part of me for fear of opening up to my deepest vulnerability.
So many of us carry the armour and veils to protect us from who we really are afraid to be fully seen. We wear masks and pretend to be someone we are not in fear of being judged simply for being human for being authentic. It takes more courage to show your truth than to play the game society has taught us that we are not worthy of this. We are broken and bruised from life’s problems and struggles. We are depressed and anxious in a world that won’t allow us to be fully human and not be ashamed by it. We are taught to distract, numb, disassociate, medicate, project, blame and repress the very wounds that need our love, our light and truth. We prefer to let our trauma rule us and divide us rather than stepping into the darkness of our souls and healing the very part of us we deny or are unaware of.
We must step into our inner being and embrace both our light and dark and vehemently meet ourselves there without judgement or fear. We must meet ourselves exactly where we are no matter how difficult or painful this is and accept ourselves exactly there. We carry so much distorted and repressed energy that needs to flow back into our hearts and souls. We have to heal the inner world in order to be completely in the right relationship with the external world we so desperately want to get our love and worthiness from.
I want the real, I want the raw. I want the messy and the natural. I want to see inside your soul and honour the depths of your being. No more side stepping our worth as human beings. No more running from the triggers that are reflected back to us in the mirror of our actions in this reality. Own your worth, your truth, your complete being…you owe this to no one but yourself. Your heart and soul are yearning to be home.
I am human. I feel…
Rob Ipsen